a sort of emptiness

It is almost five in the evening. I am sitting in my room overlooking the insti playground. I spend the last two hours and some more in my balcony shuttling between watching the beautiful veiw of the playground and listening to Hariprasad Chaurasia and reading a paper on transaction cost economics 😦 Believe me, the view of the playground from my balcony is one of the best. It is the main reason that I chose this room.

The reddish tint of the playground, its vastness, the green trees dotting three-fourths of its boundaries (the remaining one-fourth is the hostel blocks), the blue sky, the tennis court in one corner, the huge overtank that towers at the horizon all make a great view indeed. I had enjoyed watching this sight for one year now in all its hues – the sun blazing down, the slight drizzle, the heavy downpour et al. But today I felt a strange feeling. I felt a sort of emptiness in me.

The playground today is uncharacteristically quiet. The kids from the nearby government school who are brought here by a bunch of energetic good hearted souls to give the kids a sense of fulfillment are not here. The kids who learn cycling with their fathers running behind them are not there. The futsal players are missing . The random motley of runners and joggers are missing too. The ground is uncharacteristically silent. There is a sense of emptiness, a sense of calmness about it today.

The sense of emptiness is starking as it seems to mirror my own state. The sun is playing hide and seek today with frequent soujourns behind the clouds. Again mirroing the state of my mind which nowadays oscillate between bouts of inspiration and frustration.

But somehow today along with the sense of emptiness, I also feel a sense of calmness. Maybe it is the sign of things to come.


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